Following on from last week’s post, my good friend and exceptional leader Randy Fennel asked an important question. “HOW do people in the midst of a major corporate push achieve this?”. It is one thing to remind ourselves about the need for balance through rest and recuperation. It is a very difficult thing to achieve in our go, go, go world. So how can we achieve more balance?
As I reflected on Randy’s question, the serenity prayer came to mind:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”
There are some things we can change and many others we cannot and have to accept. When you are in the midst of a major corporate program you can’t suddenly decide to take an extended break, however much you may need one. That said, corporate programs don’t last forever and there will come a time when you can take a break, if you choose.
No wasn’t in my vocabulary
Looking at my own career, at times I was my own worst enemy. I would approach the end of a major program and immediately jump into the next one. Looking back, I would have benefitted from a break but I didn’t see it that way. There was no time to lose before taking on the next challenge in the spirit of career advancement. ‘No’ wasn’t in my vocabulary. I convinced myself I needed to keep on moving up and the way to do it was taking on the next big challenge.
Agency to Choose
I hope you can see we all have choices and it is up to us whether we take them or not. The choice may not be available to us in the short term but there will come a time when we can choose to take a break. Difficult choices take courage and they usually turn out much better than we imagine.
The other thing that comes to mind in response to Randy’s question is our capacity. We all have a finite capacity even if we think we can keep on working indefinitely. At some point we have to stop and for some people this is way past the point of a healthy work-life balance.
Managing Our Capacity
Knowing our own capacity is key and even more important is having the courage to set boundaries. In hindsight, I have little doubt I could have said no more often but I didn’t believe I had a choice, so yes was my default answer. I remind my clients that ‘no’ isn’t the end of the conversation. It leads to the discussion of what we could do and what is needed to achieve the desired outcome. These are very healthy conversations that any sensible leader should embrace.
Finally, you might work in a culture where ‘no’ is never an acceptable response. This is what I call a toxic work culture. You have the power to choose whether to participate for the long term or make a decision to seek an alternative healthier work situation. The choice is truly yours even if it never feels like it.